your smile shines like the sun
your laugh like music
i want you
i want your kisses
hot and wild
i love you
you are beautiful
lovely and mine
no one can take you away
dance with me
hold me
love with me
cry tears of hate
and yet you say
kiss me, i love you
day of white
we are together forever
we vow our love
and party all night
kiss me, hold me
make me happy
i love you
Good poem. Great flow--your use of sparse words and phrases is very effective. If you ever want real feedback on your poetry, check out fanstory.com and see if it's for you (it's a bit scary at first putting your stuff out for critique, but it helped improve some of my stories). Keep writing. You have a talent.
ReplyDeleteWow thanks ill defenatly check it out thanks again for sayin I have talent :)
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